Holding Back Up My Child

I have 3 children (all boys) school age right now. Two are seven and one is five. All of my boys attended Headstart. Both of my seven year olds attended kindergarten in public school. So they have the school mindset.

While in kindergarten one of my kiddos received “yellow” once the whole year. My other however received “yellow” more times then not. Okay different teachers, first time in “real school”, kids will be kids. However, my child showed out. Some of the phone calls I got I had to laugh so I wouldn’t get mad (if you know you know).

For many reasons for their first grade year I decided to homeschool. I love the idea of unschooling/homeschooling. I love that I get to see my children so much. I legit hate leaving them. We’ve learned a lot about each other. I’ve learned how each one of my kids are different. I learned that not everything is set in stone.

One of my seven year olds went through all of first grade work right into second grade. My other didn’t. I could see him struggling. I seen him trying to focus or guess just to get it over with. I watched as time soared by and he was still stuck on the same page. I learned that for him I can’t explain the directions and walk away. He needs undivided attention. I was frustrated sometimes. He was frustrated sometimes. It was a learning curve.

So when my husband and I decided to purchase more work. I suggested he continued to work on the first grade level. I explained to him it was just extra practice. It was different material so he wasn’t completing the same work as before. Essentially though… I held him back. He had to stay at the first grade level.

I know that doing that I was also holding him up. I was giving him the time and material he needed. I didn’t limit him to what others thought he should have done. I allowed him to go at his own speed. This was without the embarrassment of having to watch his class move forward. This was without his brother getting to change halls and not him. This was just between our family.

As I watch him getting excited to complete his work I get excited. I see the “light bulb”. I see him learning. He isn’t embarrassed. He is happy. One day he said “I love doing this. This work is so much easier now”. That made my momma heart burst. I made the right choice. The choice I got to make alone. I got to make solely for him and him alone.

Now our days are still long. We are all still learning. Some days are inevitably going to be better then others. But the day I realized I held my child up will always be a highlight.

What the future holds, who knows. I don’t even know if I will always homeschool. However, I know for right now I will continue being their mom and teacher.